What If....

I no longer have a job? I've planned out my yearly savings; I've even planned out my yearly spending. And then, I hear from a colleague that she just got notice!

My heart is pounding so fast with all the possibilities and questions. Why haven't they called me yet, if they are giving out notices? No e-mail. No word from my rep. I'm so conflicted.

I only hope that my contribution to the office enumerates to more than the expense of my labor. God, PLEASE LET ME STILL HAVE A JOB! I mean, I come to work on time; I do extra work for others without delay; I am quick; and my experience makes me most qualified to train new hires or guide remaining ones.

This is soooo scary to me; but I knew something was up when all of a sudden "to-do" lists sprang up from outta nowhere....wash this, stop that; clean this, throw away that; schedule this, cancel that...all within a week. So many things make perfect sense now.

Like Jazmine Sullivan said: " i knew as soon as I saw clouds, i knew what [they] were gonna say."

The recession is real and I don't like this shit! What part of the game is this?

Ah well, that's part of being temporary...it does come to an end. But, what will I do with all that extra time? I'll pray that I don't have to find out anytime soon.

Heeeey, June!

In 10-days (since I have to keep a journal of normal food habits and exercise for this long, first), I will begin Dr. Ian's 4-Day Diet, a series of dietary modules that last for four days each. I am really excited, too! I am sooo ready to trim off the fat and get to the lean meat!

The first 100 pages of his book were so inspiring and necessary for the mind set you have to have to be successful at this program. As corny as it sounds, I think I'll take before/after pictures every couple months and then post them to a weight-loss forum.

Really, though, the only difference between this diet and others is my willingness to stick to it...oh yea and I can eat REAL food, unlike:

(1) Herbalife Weight Loss Plan: (I lost 5 - 7lbs per week, but I was light-headed, dizzy, and could only eat a meal once a day, plus it cost me $300/month) In the end, I went to Mickey D's, ordered TWO value meals, and ate them until my body stopped shaking. Oh, and I gained back 7 pounds.

(2) Cottage Cheese, Saltines & Yogurt: (This was my own concoction last Spring. I ate this for lunch for two weeks. I lost 2lbs) To this day, I still gag at the thought of swallowing Yoplait Light or Brickstone's.

(3) Calorie Counting: (Take your weight, multiply it by 10, subtract 500 and burn off another 500 via exercise. I did this for 4 wks and lost 0 lbs) It does not work unless you have proportion control. Eating 1250 per day is ok, but if 760 comes from a Corner Bakery Commuter Croissant, something 'tis not right.

The hardest part for me will be eating the fruit because I HATE sweet-tasting foods that are not also savory (i.e.: icecream). But, I can eat spinach, collards, and carrots w/ peanut butter ALL DAY, EVERY DAY.

Thinner by June...we shall see.

Superego vs. id

My life revolves around a battle between my superego and my id; ego is very seldom lurking in my life.

So, I sat in class today to take a fifty-minute test that was given through a 90-minute exam. I get stuck on the first problem and spend all of ten minutes trying to work it through only to leave it incomplete and not even finish the exam!

FIRST: I'm mad at the professor for thinking that he could squeeze nine problems on the exam, when half of the problems took HIM 30-minutes of class time to do---without explaining the steps---and he has a PhD.

SECOND: I don't know WHY all of the questions were equally weighted when clearly drawing a frickin' graph is not as challenging as solving for the curvature, tension vector, and acceleration components of a curve (ALL IN ONE QUESTION ONLY FOR 2 PTS!)

WHAT PART OF THE GAME IS THAT?!

In the end, had I studied, I would not have this problem to begin with. All I heard was "open-book"/"open-note" and I closed my mind to the idea that I really should have studied for this test. He drops the lowest test grade, and I'm going to make sure this one was it!

First my exam last week, then this exam this week...man am I slippin'...and with no good reason.

If I can wake my ass up to answer the phone for some guy who wants to freak me (albeit, I ALWAYS think it's an emergency and I have to get up, walk about seven steps to where my phone is charging, and then look at the caller ID before I have an idea of who it is) and clearly doesn't get that I am just too nice to tell him that I don't want to be bothered at 1:00 in the morning, then I sure as hell better wake my ass up to study for an exam.

Sometimes priorities get screwed up, but mine are out of sync completely. There's still 10 weeks left in this semester and I'm going to buckle down and get to it. Honestly, I've worked too long and made far too many academic mistakes to let me own laziness keep me from achieving success.

As sick and tired as I think I am, I have to be more sick and tired of letting myself down.

If I were not myself and I was coming between me and my work, I would get HURT...nevertheless, the IDiot is goin' down. lol

DNCTWS: Do NOT Come to Work Sick!

Please, Do Not Come to Work Sick! ...and thank you.

We get it already! You are trying to show your boss or your boss' boss that you have tremendously strong work ethic.

I get it! You want to make sure that everyone knows how much you value your job by sitting at a desk with noses full of tissue (I'm serious!), mouths full of funky breath, and a raspy voice that only a mother could love.

But here's the thing: When you walk through the door, 9 times outta 10, you've already made up in your mind that you ain't doin not a goddamn thing all day long and you let everyone know that up front when they start asking you to...gasp...do actual work and ish.

If that's the case, 9 times outta 10, lower and middle management has then already put you the "list" and you've only harmed your reputation with the bosses. Why the hell should they pay for you to sit you ass up in the office and watch youtube clips and read the blogs all day long?

In light of the economy, I' can be lenient and just post a few of my pet peeves with sick people coming to work when their illness CLEARLY impairs their ability to do their jobs all day. If you fit these bills, please DNCTWS:

1) Receptionists who have "lost their voices"

2) Fast food workers with runny noses

3) Social service workers with any types of colds

4) Generally triflin' ass people who don't do shit at work anyway when they're healthy and then want to come to work to prove you're sick and get sympathy only to have someone cover for you and you didn't even take the time to wipe down your work area with Clorox Wipes or spray with Lysol and then that person comes in and catches whatever the fvck you had and now, because he/she is considerate, they have to miss out on going to see Madea Goes to Jail to prevent further spread of this infection and maybe lose $$$ if it's not cleared up with Nyquil by the weekend.

Speaking for those who are victims of #4, I'll ask one more time- PLEASE, DNCTWS!

<3 Be kind to your co-workers <3

"I Want to Hit You So Bad My D!ck Hurts"

Ok,

So, I'm on the bus minding my own business listening to Sammie's "Come With Me" on my iPod. The next thing you know, people in the front of the bus start looking my way. Curious, I take my head phones off ever-so-slightly to make sure I didn't do anything wrong. This dude and his girlfriend are arguing (D = dude; G = girl):

D: WHAT, YOU WANT SOME OTHER DUDE TO EAT YOUR PUSSY?!

G: SO WHAT, YOU GOT SOME OTHER BITCH SUCKIN' YO' DICK!

I'm thinking, OMFG, I need to move my ass away before they start wreckin' and flip over the fucking seat onto me. Thanking God that my bus stop was one away from where we were, I made my way to the back door to exit, and not a moment too soon. 'Cuz right after I got up out of the seat, dude blurts out: "I WANNA PUNCH YO' ASS SO BAD I CAN FEEL IT IN MY MUTHA FUCKIN' DICK!!!"....

Huh? What part of the game is that?! Who the hell raised this man? Why didn't the bus driver pull over and flag down a cop (We WERE right in front on the precinct). Why is she wit' dude?

I'd never heard anything more disgusting, ignorant, and illiterate in my damn life. From this whole ordeal, I came to a few conclusions:

(1) They must have some crazy passion for one another or extreme dislike because just the day before, they were cupcakin' it up on the bus.
(2) Don't trust a bus driver to help your ass out
(3) I am not as strong as I thought I was being that I sat there and said not a damn thing to him
(4) Do not wear headphones on public transportation-- it is crazy out there and may put you in a life and death situation, real talk.